Saturday, March 27th

I am beside myself. I have been in Florida since March 8th. WOW that is a LONG time ago. Holy cow!!! I have not been to the beach, the landing or water front since I've been here. I am VERY disappointed in myself. The Mayo clinic is just blocks from the beach as well. I would have loved to be down at at the landing for the concert in honor for the lil girls Somer that was killed. Such a sad story. For my non Jacksonville friends. The Landing is one of my favorite places in Jacksonville. It's basically a mall with glass windows, sits in downtown Jacksonville, on the water. Very nice. Alot of concerts and such are held there. BEST PLACE IN TOWN FOR NEW YEARS EVE!!!!! YUCK...not feeling so good all of a sudden. Probably did too much today. Had to get things I would need after my surgery. Bandages, pjs that wont touch my stomach and blah blah blah. Now I have to get everything washed and sorted. I will be flying back home but unable to handle much baggage...with the recent surgery. I'm not convienced this mailing is going to be cheaper than checking a $35 bag....Any imput would be appreciated here. I could borrow a large luggage bag and just check it or I can stick with my plan to package everything I can do without this last week in a box and mail it home. Leaving me with very little to handle in the airport. Do I do one big box and several smaller ones??? HELP. I feel REALLY sick to my stomach right now. What in the world???? Anyway...any advice on the baggage/mailing would be great. That's about all I got for right now.....I need to take some deep breaths. Please keep praying. I was really hoping to be home before Easter Sunday, but as I said already....not likely. But hopefully no more than 9-10 days left till I see my girls and my hubby!!!

Love you all and please keep praying.

Leaning on my Lion of Judah,
Candy

PS Living Cross is going on, I'm praying for you all!!!

Friday, March 26th

I know I know, I got behind here on blogging. It's been a rough week with out my anxiety and depression meds. Alot of sleeping thru the week is about all thats been going on. Today, some news and scheduling. My second Lupus test (cause the first was inclusive) came back positive. I am not in a severe state and meds will be able to minimize syptoms. In light of this a surgery they have been talking about doing will be done at Mayo on Monday, March 29th at 6pm. Yes 6pm. Odd time of day but whatever. It's a 90 minute surgery. They are removing my ovaries, apendix and a small portion of my intestinal tubing. I will be placed on hormone therapy and back on my seroquel. In hopes that these will be the only meds I will need. In addition of course to the lupus meds. After surgery I will be monitored here for a while, before being released to come home. I have hopes of being home by Easter but I'm not sue that is a realistic expectation. I know it seems like alot at one time but we've been doing test and test with no real answers. Not to say that Mayo is not accomplishing all we expected and needed to be done. They have been amazing and have figured out and done more in a few weeks time than what we were getting accomplished in months in Lynchburg. I'm glad that I came, it's been extremely tough to be here without my husband and kids, but I'm trying to remember when mommy's not well, she can't do all that mommy needs to do. So for them, I must take this time to figure things out and well. Anyway, not much else to report. Though this is alot in one blog.

As for everyone in invovled in the Living Cross. I can't believe performances start TONIGHT. What a ministry. I miss it SO much. I'm praying for all invovled and all who will see it. May God continue to use this ministry for His Glory.

Till next time,
Bye for now

Sunday, March 22

I was determined to make it to church. I woke and the goose egg has gone down but the pain was still very much present. An unbelievable headache on just the right side of my head which is where I hit it. But I got up showered and went to church anyway. I'm glad I did.

So today was just a day. The only thing really to write about it my ant's blueberry pound cake. OOOOOO It was still very warm, real blueberry melted....TO DIE FOR!!!!!!!!!!

Until tomorrow

Saturday, March 22nd

Normally the weekend is nothing to write about. But never a dull moment. First let me say I am doing this blog about my health for many reasons. It helps me, the doctors, helps keep those that want every detail up to date and those who want to know how to pray. The bad part about this is right now, it seems everything is so negative for me. I normally am not this down. So please excuse the honest truth with no candy coating. No pun intended.

I knew Friday night that I was going to be going shopping at Belk cause they were having a big sale. So I deliberatly skipped two times where I was suppose to take my pain meds. I tried just using motrin but it was not helping. I did manage to fing the most adorable dresses for the girls and one for myself as well for Easter. I felt flushed and sweaty and hot in the mall. I got home and took my temp and I had a low fever. I took a pain pill cause the pain was out of control and I laid down for a bit. I woke some hours later and made a trip to "the lil girls room". I felt fine. But somewhere between standing up and opening the door I blacked out. I hit my head on the porceilin sink. OUCH! I had a goose egg on my head. It scared me to death. First cause I was alone at the moment and two the bump on my head made me nervous.

SO lets just say a few pills later and a ice pack I was fast asleep.

Friday, March 19

Well woke in pain and thought...I'm going to cancel my appointment at Mayo today. That didn't last long. Dr Crespo called back right away and said he needed to do the sonogram before the weekend. He promised he would not make me wait since I was in pain. See how awesome this place is!? I forced myself to get up and shower. I had plans to meet Jenn (my best friend from high school...we went to church together). We ate at the Loop in San Marco. I love San Marco. I would SO live there if we lived in Jacksonville. Anyway we had a great lunch with the two of us, her son Tripp and her daughter Julia. SO precious. Made me miss the girls alot more. I left there and soon was heading to Mayo. I dropped off a deposit at the lab and headed upstairs for my sonogram. I've had more sonograms the past 4 months than I had when I wsa pregnant with the girls. Guess what...I have another cyst. Not near as big as the last. SO now I'm going to see a surgeon at Mayo. WONDERFUL. Well I was a lil upset about this but...I'll worry about it next week. I was told I have to stop taking all my meds Sunday, as they will interfere with the test they need to start next Wednesday. SCARY. The only things I can take are the vicadin for pain and (ready for this Mary Lynn?) my Juice Plus!!! In fact Dr. Reigert-Johnson also takes Juice Plus!!!! TOnight I ended my day by having dinner with my dad, Kathy, Aunt Cindy and Uncle Andy (I know nothing like being the fifth wheel right). Longhorns it was. Their new garlic filet is ah-maz-ing. Lastly I ended my day (the bussiest since I've been here) by having one white chocolate covered strawberry and one milk chocolate covered strawberry from Peterbrooke...while snuggling with a big baby girl (a puppy) on the couch. I just hope I don't pay for all the activities tomorrow. Well, time for meds and bed. I miss everyone back home so much!!! Praying for every aspect of the Living Cross. I know you all are working hard and wich I was there with you. Please continue to pray for Michael, the girls and I as we are separated for 12 so far. I have at least 9-10 more days. Pray for some family issues that are taking place here. And pray for the doctors wisdom and my patience and positive attitude about everything. This next week wil be the toughest yet with the doctors taking me off my anxiety and depression meds. I can't begin to tell you have scared I am about this. Thank you all for your calls, emails, text and prayers.

Holding onto my Lion of Judah
Candy

Thursday, March 18th

Did not have any appointments on this day. Since I had the procedor on Wednesday, Dr Crespo said the pain would be too much for me to handle and come to the clinic. He wasn't kidding. I was so out of it people were calling, knocking on the door and ringing the door bell and I NEVER heard a thing. Vicadin does not mess around. House is poppin sweet tarts not vicadin.

Wednesday, proceedor day

Today I didn't have to be at Mayo till late morning. Which was good cause I couldn't get to sleep till 2am. I put a iv in for dehydration and to inject some dye. I had to wait for 1 hour after this was started for the proceedor to begin. I fell asleep. I was glad when they said it was all done, they were able to drain and I would not need surgery. However cramp like pain was very much present and strong from the beginning of the proceedor. Dr. said you will be in a good deal of pain the next 24-48 hours. Boy he wasn't joking. The pain got worse as I sat up and walked. I had to pick up my vicadin...figured that may come in good use. I just took that and well thoughts would fill you all in while I was weighting for that to kick in. That being said, I'm going to close my eyes...think I'm done for the day...goodnight all.

Tuesdays findings

I had a strange day at Mayo. They had done xrays and such the day before. Today they were doing songrams from different angels and place on my body. External and Internal. I cyst the size of a tennis ball was present on my ovary. Dr. Riegert-Johnson was concerned. I was having alot of pain Monday and Tuesday. He said he wanted to get that grained. I would come back Wednesday to see if they could drain it with a scope type thing. If not surgery would be needed and I would have to stay over night. So I was bumb about this. I got my prescription for Vicadin (spell?). I had dropped that off but didn't wait for it. I didn't need to walk Target and spend money for 30 mins. So I went on home. So that covers today.

Dryin out

Well well well. Two days of the weekend without going to Mayo. But it was back to work today! It's always a little uneasy walking into the Mayo clinic. I hever know what exactually there are going to do to me that day. Today, they look more blood. as it they don't have enough of mine already. I had to sit and take two bags of iv fluids cause I was so dehydrated they couldn't get to a vein. I could keep my mouth wet to save my life either. Hard to force anything, even liquids down, when your gagging on everything that goes in the mouth. So after this long ordeal, they send me for some xrays. Just what I needed, more radiation. They keep it up, I'm going to have cancer before they are done researching. I was really worn out today. I slept while the iv fluids were going in and calasped in bed when I got home about 4pm. I'm awake but done for the day. O I have 4 ant bites on my right foot. I HATE ant bites. They itch so stinkin bad. But today they were itching and took the sheet on the Mayo bed and just rubbed it as hard as I could. That nurse thought something was mentally wrong with me. O well. I return to tomorrow but should be a short visit.

Terra keeps calling my cell and leaving me these long messages. I cry when I ear them and have saved em so I could play them again. She says she misses me so so so so much that when I get home she wants to have a girls only day. She goes on and on and with that lil voice it's heart breaking. I have test scheduled all the way thru Thursday of this week. So I don't know when I'll be leaving. Thats the hard part. You don't know when the light is going to come at the end of tunnell. Please continue to pray for my girls, Michael and I as we are apart during this time. It's so hard to be here without them. I know it's good that I take this time and get better so I can get back to being a mom and wife but sometimes I feel so alone here. I gave some great family here but you know the bond that you have with your kids and spouse...hard to fill that void.

I'd like to thank my Aunt Cindy and Uncle Andy for putting me up and putting up with me this past week. They have made sure I eat when I don't want to and are there to talk to. I hope I can help you two out one day. I love you both.

Please continue to pray for some family issues that are on going here as well. Thanks again for all your support and prayers!

Candy Justice

Needles and knifes

Friday, March 12. I woke anxious to get to Mayo to have the mole on my neck that turned black all of a sudden. I dropped "things" off at the lab. Had more blood withdrawn. Then I went for my next appointment. I had no idea what they were going to do. It's a good thing, cause I may not have walked in there. In no time I was having three needles stabbed into my stomach and then some fluid withdrawn as well. OUCH. I mentioned the mole on my neck. The dr whom I didn't have a appointment with, called me back within 30 minutes. Now what doctor do you know that I can walk in with a problem, no warning. And within minutes the doctor is ready to see you for your concern? I thought for sure I would be there forever. I mean the waiting room was full. After a quick look at the mole he said he was going to schedule for me to see a dermentologist. I thought great, I can get this looked at some time next week and be done with it. No I was seen within hours. These people don't play. So in pain and anxious to leave from the sticking earlier, I sat waiting to meet my next doctor. Dr Randel actually saw me an hour early cause I told the nurse I was in pain and she could clearly see that for herself. I was taken back. Dr Randel took a quick look at the spot with this thing on his head and these glasses that came over his eyes. He said he did not like the way it looked at all and it would need to be removed. He didn't stop there. I checked every inch of my body to make sure there were no other places of concern. So asking when we would remove the spot...right now he said. Great more pain for the day I thought. He had a nurse come in and be began quickly with no warning. He numbed things like a dentist. Four BIG sticks around the sight. He told me it would be a big stick. I said like an iv? He said no, a BIG stick. OUCH. Alot of stinging as the meds went in. He cut it off, then dug a little. Four stitches later...he is all done. It is bothering me but I'm glad it is off. He sent it off and said I would hear back by next Wednesday.

Well that is about it for today. Thank you again for all your prayers.

Candy

Two Days into Mayo testing

I've had several people ask e to blog about my Mayo experience. Just taking some time to write things down so I will remember and I can keep people updated better than one liner things on facebook. So here's my happenings so far.

I guess I'll start with my flight here. These were not a piece of cake. Even though the doctors gave me extra meds to help with the stress, anxiety and motion of the flights. The first flight was really rough. I have never felt so alone and like a freak show before. I began throwing up in every bag I could reach or was passed just ten minutes into the flight. The poor lady ended up moving me to the back of the plane where I was all alone. I did get a free coke out of the deal! Anyway, I was so glad to just land and get off of there. It was crazy. I felt so weak but I had to get to my next gate in the Atlanta airport. Thank goodness for the train in that airport. The worlds busiest airport. It is a very nice airport though. I don't mind it at all. So many hate it. But anyway, to save money I had to get all my things in my purse, a bookbag and a carry in size. Which I must say was a miracle of God. I still brought 4 pairs of shoes. I'm a REALLY good packer!!! Anyway, my second flight was much better. Though I was so drugged out by that point I felt like I was sleep walking to the car once I landed in Jacksonville. I basically was sleeping with the sand man the rest of the day. This was on Monday, March 8th.

Tuesday morning I woke with alot of pain and really bad panic attacks. I thought I could take my meds and rest through it all but I ended up having to call my dad to come sit at my aunt's house with me. I slept the whole day. I knew I just needed to get through that day and I would be checking into the Mayo Clinic early on Wednesday, March 10th.

Finally, the long awaited day was here. All these symptoms and illness had been going on since November 16. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I had never been that sick. Which says alot, cause for some reason, I've had some pretty rough health on and off.

Maybe I should pause and fill you in if you have not been up on what has been going on. I'll give you the quick version. November 16 I woke feeling great. I went to the gym that morning and had a great work out. The girls were in school and Michael was out of town. I got some work done around the house that day and really felt great. I did start to feel really nauseous about 1pm. As usual I had not had anything but a protein shake before I went to the gym. I get caught up in what I'm doing and will go without eating and not even think about it. So I fixed me a sandwhich. I decided to lay down for a lil bit before heading to get the girls from school. I felt a lil better so thought nothing of it. I grab a trash can on my way out just in case. I'm the worst person about vomiting. I can't stop once I start, I can't control myself...it's not pretty. I threw up the whole way to the school and the whole way back. I got in a bath. For some reason I think baths will make things better. I will take them every 30 minutes till the hot water is gone whether it helps or not. Anyway, I never did get things to stop. The girls were trying to do their homework in my bedroom while coming to check on me often. I finally told them to call my mother in law. Before I knew it, my mother in law, my sister in law and three ambulances were at my house. I was rushed to the er sirens and all. Never had that before. Lights, but never sirens. They gave me pain meds for the severe ab pain, iv fluids and zophran for the vomiting...there were people everywhere. There was no waiting for anything or any doctor. They rushed to my side. All that was found was a extremely high white blood count, high fever. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days. I do not remember much of that stay. I was so sick. To make a long story short, I had this happen every week for the next 2 months. I have stayed a total of 32 days in the hospital since Nov 16. Many test, proceedors and a surgery have been done with no findings. Other than a small tear in my intestine, repeat high white blood count, fever, hives, rashes, swelling of the joints, cysts on the ovaries and lose stools. These are the symptoms and they have been coming and going with no rhyme or reason since November 16. The panic attacks are a by product of the stress on my body. I have been dealing with anixety and depression for 4-5 years now.

Ok so I was anxious but glad my date to check in was here. My dad drove me to Mayo at 6am in the morning. Which is a beautiful campus, blocks form the beach. If I had the money I would stay at the hotel on site. Just awesome place. Very efficent. Not your typical hospital at all. I checked in and then waited for the appointment with the doctor. Dr Crespo is my doctor at Mayo. I really took to him within minutes of us being together. He spent a lil over an hour talking with me and examining me. He never seemed rushed or anything. It was like I was his only patient for the day. Now he did mention Lopis. And no I'm not sure how you spell that either. I don't know what that is. He said I have 7 of thr 12 symptoms of Lopis. He told me not to concern myself with that right now. He said he wanted to bring another doctor in the room so they could consult with each other. He asked me if that was ok. They both came in and really explained things and gave me plenty of time to ask questions. They said that they would be running alot of test and some will seem odd to me. But that they needed me to just be paitent and be open with them. They both took a look at my current meds. I got really nervous as they talked about needing to take me off all my meds as they would interfer with some testing that they would need to do. I mean, my anxiety and depression meds I do not play with. That freaks me out. I'm trying to trust though. These are suppose to be some of the best doctors in the world. I may have the best doctors in Lynchburg, VA, but even they, like me, are reaching out to these doctors for help to figure out what is wrong with me. So I left very scared. They scheduled me for some blood work the following day that I would need to fast for. They were concerned enough about my panic attacks, as I had two while with them, that they doubled my seroquel that day. I got home and laid down at 11am after taking my double dose and woke at 6pm. Talk about some good sleep. Me and the sand man have had some deep sleeping.

So this brings me to today, Thursday, March 11th. I had asked my mom to drive me today. It is a good 45 minute drive one way to the clinic. So gas is going to be an issue. My dad needed the day off to relax anyway. We arrived and it was so neat. It was a big waiting area with chairs all facing this long wall. The wall had three doors. They were shaded glass doors. Like star track or something. So neat. The nurses would push a button and the doors would go into the wall. They were coming out of those doors like popcorn. They were so efficient. They took NINE tubes of blood from me. That lady was scaring me. I have rolling veins and they are tiny. She was on her third try in my arm and said "your dehydrated and if I can't get it this time I'm going to have to go for your neck." I made a deal with her. I normally tell them "DO NOT chase my vein!". That HURTS so bad. Well i told her, I'll let you chase this one...I do not want you to go into my neck. Lord, it took her forever. I was about to pull it out myself. But she finally got it. Then they gabe me a shot of some orangey/red fluid. I have no idea what that was. I was trying not to pass out. I don't think they have any small needles at Mayo. She stuck me 12 times and not once was it a small needle. I felt so sick to my stomach after all that. They sent me home with "homework". I really don't think you want to know what exactually this homework is...lets just say think of the most disgusting thing they could ask you to do...and times it times 10.

As the day went on, it got worse. I had some issues (we won't go into details there either). But I handled it. I have been so tired all day but not really able to sleep. You know that place. Too tired to relax. I didn't want to take any extra drugs so I just managed. Now it's 11:30pm and I'm wide awake. And this is after taking all my sleeping aids and other drugs. I'm a lil concerned about something I discovered this afternoon. Dr. Crespo asked me about a mole I have on my neck. It has been there forever. It's never bothered me. It's not next to the skin it kinda hangs a little. He asked me how long it had been there and if it had gotten darker or bled. I said no. Well I hadn't looked at it in a long time either. I was fixing my hair and it was just after 5pm. I noticed in the mirror that the mole was completely black. I got sick to my stomach....thinking the worst. It is hard, like it's dead. Now he didn't say it was dark or anything when he asked me about it. So now I'm worried about it. I'm going back to Mayo in the morning and can't wait to have someone look at it, It will have to come off now for sure.

Well I guess this brings things up to date in deatil. I'll plan to write each day and that way I won't have to write such a long one each time.

Current Prayer Concerns:
*The drs as they test and find out what is wrong
*There is alot of family issues here in Florida...it's hard to try and handle things with me and these issues. Please pray that I can really lay everything, everyone and every situation at His feet each moment so things will not become too stressful
*Financial...it is not cheap when you have to buy supplies, food and alot of gas to live away from home.
*Michael, the girls and I as we are away from each other. It's hard to not have your husband and children to support you and be with you during a stressful time like this.
*The girls emotional and education. the girls worry so much about me and it really effects them at school. Please pray they can focus on their work, work hard and depend on all the support they have there. It's not mommy of course....

Thank you all for your prayers, calls, emails and support.

Needing God's arms always around me,
Candy Justice