Two front teeth missing among the rest of the madness

LeAnn searched for her two front teeth this Christmas but they never showed. She is TOO STINKIN CUTE with her front teeth missing and makes her adorable word sounds even better!









My pride and joy....it IS center in the peek of the roof but I was sitting off to the side...in it's rotating tree stand, this 9 foot tree is hard to not stare at!

















LeAnn and Terra in their Christmas Eve PGS












Like every other family this year, Santa brought us a WII....LeAnn skiing!












Terra dodging the panda bears and shoes while playing soccer. The shoes and pandas are hilarious












The MASTER of the house. Scooter Winston













Rockford Sebastian...he is still a ball of laughs. Has no brain I'm sure.












A little special gift from Bree for Christmas. I love you Bree!!! She picked something my girls DON'T HAVE and something that they would enjoy DOING and not just something else to throw in their room...paint your own music box and plate, bowl and cup set!!!! Best gift of the year!!!








Here are the finished products!













They really got into it!! Left Bree to finish baking the cookies. Which...don't tell her I told you but she burnt these.....LOL Lots of love Bree!!!










Terra painting


















LeAnn painting

Ok, where have I been? That's a loaded question. I've been here and there and everywhere.

Why has my blog been untouched for almost two months...um, being online has NOT been a top priority. Keeping the lungs flowing with air and the heart full of hope has been all I can handle. And sometimes not even that!

How was Thanksgiving? Iv fluids for LeAnn and I both while she was on one floor of Virginia Baptist and I was on the other. I feel like there was NO Thanksgiving. Still haven't gotten a good turkey dinner.

I don't know what to say and not say. Everyone knows that I was diagnosed with clinical depression a few months back. That was being held between a small circle of people but I think was let slipped just cause things were getting too hard to keep covered. Especially when you so badly need the list of help from whom ever we could get it from. Thank you thank you thank you to the many of have brought us dinner the past few weeks. Words can not express how much it meant and helped.

Well as you wait for medicine to kick in with depression there are ups and downs and further downs and less ups and well...it's never ending roller coaster with too many drops and not near enough or large enough climbs upward.

Let me give you a few lessons I've learned.

Never ever OD on ANY MEDS! Never Never Never. I don't know how people that achieve success with this because it scared the day lights out of me. We will stick with the story that it was a accidental OD. Boy your heart starts racing, I couldn't form words to save my life. I really thought...this is it. This stupid mistake is going to be what kills me. I made sure all was cleared between the Lord and I just in case. The worst part of this is not the scary part of realizing you did WAY too much. It's when you get to the Trauma Unit and the nurse walks in with about 8oz of CHARCOAL!!! NO LIE. CHARCOAL. SICK SICK SICK. There are no words to describe to you what drinking liquid CHARCOAL to help absorb the drugs...........GAG

Second, the VICU at Virginia Baptist is newly remodel and never has more than two people in it. I was there two weekends in a row and 90% of the time I was THE ONLY PERSON in the unit. Gee what would these nurses do if I didn't get myself there? I've left them bored to tears for a few weekends...maybe I should go visit or something.

Being committed is not all that bad. It's scary though. You have people that are there on a court order and are picked up by the police to then go serve their time in jail. These girls...well they were girls in my case...get together just like the jail house stories and will come take whatever THEY WANT off your meal trays and you may have been stupid enough to get committed but your not or I'm NOT stupid enough to keep my lovely hospital food badly enough to fight for it. Heaven forbid. I can stand to miss a few meals anyway.

When you can't think straight...people play hiding games with you. LeAnn was in the hospital for a few days and NO ONE TOLD ME till I was discharged. Cause I would notice one little girl missing. Dianne, Ed, hubby, nurses on VICU...I don't blame you for not telling me and am glad things went down the way they did. Dianne was funny...she showed up twice in one day I think and said...."she was called back into work." I'm pretty sure...she was going to re leave Michael for a little bit.

This is funny. If you can't take a joke...you might want to skip this paragraph.

I was having major upper abdominal pains. Unbearable. No lie. I ended up in another trauma care center. Blood test, a bunch of test and everything was normal. I assured the nurse SOMETHING is NOT normal. SOMETHING is causing this pain. She decided to do a X-ray. Man she came in a few moments later. "Mrs. Justice, no wonder your having pain. You are full to the rim". Basically she was telling me "I was full of crap". No seriously, I was full of it. She showed me on the x-ray. Lordly. I'm the ONLY person in my family that is not regular. My brother eats and then does a drop of the kids at the pool. If you know what I mean. Might be why he weighs half of what I do. Anyway. She gave me a shopping list and sent me on my way. If you ever find you are truly full of it...the depository will NOT work. Didn't for me. I did three. The milk of magnesia will NOT work. I had half the bottle, did nothing. The stool softener will NOT work. No, none of these but if you drink a full bottle of Magnesium citrate....lordy, you will be cleaned as if you never ate or passed anything in your life. I mean..I lost 4.5 pounds and THAT IS NOT A LIE!!!!

I know I'm rattling off like this is all nothing. Please don't preach to me. I know this is all very serious. I'm no where near being through this. Still taking it hour by hour actually. But God is peeking through a little bit. I know He's there. I have had a few good days and I'm learning to treasure them and hope for more. God and I have a long road ahead but together we will make it. I am not taking classes next semester, I of course dropped out this semester in the seventh week. Then I will hopefully be prepared for summer with the girls. Then hope to return to school in the Fall of 2009. That's the best I can do and I'm learning that, that's ok. Taking time to heal and take care of your self, is important enough to stop for.

I almost forgot...if you did not get a Christmas card from us..there is a reason. I used the stamps I had to mail some. I was able to get the ones to the church thanks to good friends that took care of them for me. But over half of the cards sat on the kitchen table waiting for my wonderful hubby to have a chance to go get me some more stamps. Well, that never happened. So Christmas day, I threw them away. Michael said I should have sent them anyway, but I just couldn't bring myself to send Christmas cards after Christmas. Just know that you all were thought of. And I DID take the time to do cards this year just...I'm not at liberty to drive when ever I have somewhere to go so...am having to lean on Michael.

Which I AM married to THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD. He has been mom, dad, provider, taxi, grocery shopper, baby sitter, cook, maid, hair holder for throw uppers, booty wipers for....o no...not that one anymore. Sorry I was on a roll. I love my wonderful husband. He is so patient, and understanding and supportive. My cup runieth over!

Well I cherish your never ending prayers, cards, emails, calls (even though I NEVER answer the phone...I TRULY HATE THE PHONE), but I know who has called, those who have stopped by, taken my girls places, visited the hospital, meals on and on....THANK YOU ALL. Please keep praying.

May God richly bless you all in return.

Trying to Break Free
Candy Justice

Let me try to catch you up...

Yes I'm aware it's been a long long time. Alot going on...sorry.

Let me give the low down on the things I've received questions about the most...

Michael's grandfather...he has not had much change in his favor. He has been in and out of the hospital and change nursing homes twice. Last I heard they didn't expect him to make it to Thanksgiving. So please just pray for the family as they prepare for this loss. Sadly, Michael does not have a real close relationship with his grandpa. Which is odd for me cause my granny was my world. But for Michael's dad and his sisters it will be a difficult loss.

My health. I really do not want to get into the inns and outs about all that. The vertigo is calmed down and I think under control for the most part. Which is good. The depression is still a major problem and will be some time before I can say I'm back in the light. Keep praying. I've ran out of books to read...will start a puzzle soon. But for now I'm creating a recipe book. I want to put all my favorite recipes in one book. I try to keep myself busy around the house. Driving is still limited with certain things that I still have going on but I do get out once or twice a week.

This being said the pictures below kinda help you get the idea of the rest of our happenings. I'm not quite in the talkative mood as I usually am. Some will enjoy that and I know some of you enjoy my silliness but this will have to do.

When we get bored around the house...these kinda things happen. LeAnn and Terra make up their own little games. No idea what this was..under cover search????
















Here's Terra. Silly Silly Girls.


















LeAnn won the Raffle at school (THANKS TO ALL WHO BOUGHT A CHANCE OR MANY FOR BOTH GIRLS!) The two winners won dinner with the Varsity football team at BHS, a signed t-shirt from the team, a picture with the team, tickets to the last home game and recognized at the game. My girls were SO excited about this raffle. An AWESOME fundraiser for schools. Better than having to sell wrapping paper or something. Well LeAnn was one of the winners. Here she is with the other girl that won with the team.




LeAnn partnered up with number 6 cause he comes to the Elementary school and reads to LeAnn and her class. He is actually her book buddy. Another great way to get the athletes at the high school to invest in the community!









LeAnn sat and ate her dinner. She could not believe how much food they got fed. Some boys ate and ate. She also took in the conversation. We learned who "should" ask who to the prom. Which girl is saying "she likes so and so". And which player was having to underwear problems and need his mother to bring a different pair at the field house. LeAnn held onto that piece of information. That was the first thing she shared with sissy and daddy. "One boy had issues with his underwear?!"



We got out of order here but Scooter reaps alot of extras when the girts are playing around the house.











He just takes it, gives in and fell asleep! He's a good brother!












Back to the game. Now my returning to the Friday night lights...I would have chosen a different game. But it was HHS vs BHS.

(FYI I use to coach football and competition cheer at HHS...)







A picture of the game in process.














The girls were all ready for the cold weather. It was threatening to POUR down rain but it held off to half time which was when LeAnn said "Time to go, don't want to mess up my hair!" Such a girl!









We had dinner at the Weenie Stand before the game!












After I got Terra from school I rushed her over to have a quick picture with #6, the one that reads to their class.











More game pics













The players gave LeAnn a basket of candy and she shares with sissy!












LeAnn had SO much fun!!!!












Getting close to half time. LeAnn and mommy!














Terra and daddy....not sure why she was hitting daddy's cheeks.












Back at home...Rockford and his weird sleeping habits we've talked about alot...but this one was priceless.










Look how LONG he's getting...growing up but not getting much smarter.













Last years favorite Christmas gifts. The Birds that talk, repeat, fart, burp....here the girls are letting Rock and Scooter get a taste of the birds saying the dogs names!!!! Rockford was SO confused.









Back to the game...with in the cheer squad were a few girls I coach at Cheer Xtreme when they were IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I felt REALLY OLD. Brittany Adkins and Ashley Cox seniors...congrats girls...on senior night. Nicole Walton and Olivia Coles...great to see you again. And Jordan Curry, on JV but walking around selling programs...what a beautiful young lady you have grown into.





I have no idea who this is. The only reason I took it was cause it's a long leg flier. MY FAVORITE fliers of all time. The long legs in the air....LOVE IT. Made me miss my Kristian Witt ALOT. She was my flyer that I could watch ALL DAY LONG. VERY LONG LEGS and could do whatever I asked her to. Your missed Witt.






For a dog who is truly as dumb as a door nail...He did graduate. Rockford Sebastian Justice at graduation!












A little shopping with dad before graduation


















Aunt Millie and Terra I took this one for you two. The basset that was in the class graduation prior to Rockford.











Still waiting...seriously this is old now













And waiting.....again picture a little out of order...sorry

















HALLOWEEN!!!

LeAnn and Terra.

LeAnn was a tiger
Terra was a Jaguar

Maybe we can get tickets to a Jacksonville Jags game and they can rewear these at least once more!





Holding our tails out












Back to school....sorry. Rockford LOVED his teacher Jamin! Given him kissing. Very cute guy gals but he has a BUNCH of animals at home. Seriously.....obviously single...But we loved Jamim!










The proud Father and his son..."If I only had a brian to go with the deploma!











How many pics with the hat?













Back to Halloween. Our usual trip with the Sexton family. Eating at Friday's before going Trick-Or-Treating.












Our waitress was a VT football player!!!!!












Daddy and his girls














The three girls!














And we're off......

Stepping Down...thought I was at the bottom already

Well after weeks of being told, you need to step away from this semester...rest and start over next semester. My hard headedness is up. I withdrew myself from classes yesterday. That was very hard. Not only have I already paid for this semester...I had A's. What in the world? I will return next semester rested and ready to go. Right God?

I've been told many time lengths for this vertigo stuff. From a week to months. I passed 3 weeks on Saturday. You know me and my family...if we're going to be sick we're going to do it right and do it all the way. No sense doin it any other way.

I think God had a plan too. I was worrying about getting everything done and then next semester...I need to continue with school, we have the living cross...I can never say no to the cross...I love it too much. Well God went before me I guess. David has decided that the Living Cross needs a sabbatical. It will be weird having all that free time next year but you know what...I think its a great idea. Take a step back. See what we can do to make it better, more appealing to today's society. See what God would like to do with the Cross. Since we are moving into a new sanctuary, maybe God would like to make the some changes in that ministry as well. So though I will miss it greatly cause I love it. All of it. The crazy schedule, the memorizing of music, the performances, watching God move and seeing new people enter our church building to hear the message of Christ...love it all. I am seeing that God really does need me to rest. He's helping clear my schedule.

One last note and that will be all for today. I know short and sweet. Never comes from Candy. But it has to today. Have you ever tried to type when the room your in is spinning continuously? I'll do a bible study update later this week.

Congrads to LeAnn. Thank you to all that gave money so the girls could have a bunch of chances in the raffle. LeAnn won and will be eating dinner with the Brookville High School Varsity Football team, getting a shirt, a picture with the team, a ticket to the game and recognized during half time. She is SO excited. Terra and I will be tagging along and making fun for ourselves as well I'm sure.

Please pray that the girls congestion and cough will get much better by Friday. Pray that I will gain a motivation to actually get up and out of the house.

O Rockford will be graduating from school Friday night as well. We will miss his graduation but daddy will be there. Those pictures will be fun. It is amazing he will graduate and not flunk out of school. I'm telling you there is not a dog out there more dumb that this fella. You've read some of the stories so I don't need to go into detail. He must love his teacher cause he does whatever he is asked in school. At home...everything falls on deaf ears. I mean he played hide and seek in Pet Smart with the girls last week. He was really good. He also had to walk down an aisle where food and toys were thrown all over the floor and he had to walk down the aisle and leave all the toys and food on the floor. He did it too? Ask him to leave the deer poop alone outside and he doesn't listen. Ask him to put Scooter down, he doesn't listen. Just kidding...he doesn't pick up Scooter. Scooter will bite his head off. Scooter really does wear the pants in the family. Well we WISH he did. But you know what I mean.

You should see the dogs...I found my heating blanket. You must know, I am NEVER hot. I normally have the house so cold you could hang meat in it. I NEVER turn on the heat. This medicine must have a blood thinner in it or something. I am FREEZING ALL THE TIME. I mean, I'm sitting here with flannel pj pants, two tank tops, a long sleeve shirt, a hoodie and thick winter socks. On the couch where I am about to return...is two fleece blankets and a heating blanket on high. The dogs are loving it. This blanket it suppose to save our our water bill. You know when your so cold that the only way to warm up is to take a very hot bath? That has been me for three weeks. I've been taking 5-6 baths a day. Our water bill is not goin to be pretty I'm sure. So far the blanket does help.

Well that is it for us. If you need me I'll be home resting up a storm. I'm tired of resting. Any more resting I should go ahead and be dead.

Bored at home
Candy

I must talk to Father about this

If God was waiting for me to be fed up...I am there. I said enough already, I must talk to Father about this mess...

Ok, here's the plan. We are going to start this medicine..this MOOD ENHANCER. Doesn't that sound funny?! Mood Enhancer...I can be sent to a spa for a day and have my mood enhanced. Why not go that route. But I continued to GIVE God the plan. The meds will begin to work in 2-4 weeks and we will be done with this mess. O and this Vertigo, who heard of such a thing. No more tea cup rides for the two of us mister. I mean, Father Lord God. Amen.

Yes ok, God didn't read the memo. Or I'm sure He didn't get it. Cause ain't a stinkin thing changed. Yet I saw Him show up. He had a different game plan though.

I am amazed at how God shows up...where ever we are. I have been burying myself in three books and still the Breaking Free study to try and keep some type of balance on things.

I cried out to God during the week of just illness...I can't wait to free of. I felt like I was sitting in a dark tunnel and having the biggest pity party anyone has ever thrown. There was enough wine and cheese for anyone that wanted to join. I was snottin away and saying anything just to have the sound of at least my echo to keep me from goin in sane. Does anyone else have that problem? Where silence just drives you crazy? Well too much of it. I mean I long for quite times, sometimes as well, but when your in the dark with silence for too long...I begin playing Marco Polo with myself.

Then a cried out, where are you Lord? You said you would be with me at all times. Where are you? In some moment I got a chuckle. I imagined Him telling me well, I played Marco Polo with you. It wasn't your echo it was My voice. I let you snot on My robe for a while. And the rest of the time, I just sat here whispering to you through the books you are reading. Here I thought the authors were speaking and no...God used it all to just keep me a float for a while.

I asked Him when we were leaving the tunnel? He said In MY time. Well okay then! That doesn't sound like a fool proof plan. I mean we didn't go over defensive end plays, whether it was going to be a short pass, goin long and a quarter back sneak. Or maybe even a Tebow pitch. I don't have a clue where to run and I know the play clock is WAY OVER 30 seconds. Almost at 30 DAYS.

So I'm just grabbing what He sends me. It might not make any sense to anyone but me.

So on with some lessons from Breaking Free.

I have to stop living in defeat when God desires me and all His children to life in Victory. Victory should be the rule not the exception. God knows I do not believe in being possessed. PLEASE do not send me any letters on this. This is just me. Maybe a downfall but just let me deal with my major issues before ya'll attack me on being possessed. Did you know that even though we are God's children that we can be so oppressed by the enemy that we feel possessed and I think in my situation feel DEpressed.

Isaiah 54:17-18 (NIV) no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me, declares the Lord.

This SHOULD be our lives. God has given us the right, those of us that are His children, to refute warfare.

Let me just stop and say when I say WE, OUR or whatever I mean ME. It's just easier for me to write in that form.

So I asked myself, what's your problem here? Well THAT is a deep list of fish in the sea. I think for me, I'm SO stinkin hard headed. That God really has to lay me flat on my back before I realize...duh only He can help and guide and fix whatever is going on. Not my dearest friends Florence, Lynne, my wonderful husband, my daddy...I am the biggest people person I have ever met. I get absorbed with people. Certain people. Close friends. Like I wrote once before...God is asking daily? Where are YOU Candy? You do not have fulfillment in life cause your searching in all the wrong places. Only I can fill your every need. Only I can be EVERYTHING for you. I probably could have saved alot of heart ache had I learned this earlier. And I'm not saying I have it down yet. Sorry, my dear friends and loved ones. But God is working on it. God lays me flat but this time, I think He just popped my bubble completely. "Now you hard headed child of Mine, are you ready to learn to live in Me, live to fight the enemy, fight life's battles."

John 10:10 (NIV) the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I come that they (my children) may have life to the full.

How many times have I read that verse...and I still didn't get it? I think He wrote this next verse for me...

Judges 6:10 But you have not listened to me

I use to work with a personal trainer. I know your saying...use...have you looked in the mirror lately, you may want to start back! Okay Okay you see how messed up I am. Anyway, Brain use to tell me when I was screaming in pain and pushing all I could to do the last set of reps...I would have to say "I am more than a conqueror". God meant for us to be more than conquerors.

So I'm at that point where God is asking...Are you ready to learn? When will we as Christians learn that our plan is NOT working. I don't think God even tried my last plan. Guess He is tired of running the routes and I keep throwing interceptions.

But you know, I so don't want to go over all the things I'm doing wrong to see WHY they are not working. I just want God to free me from this dark place. But God is saying NO. My child we must deal with the whole truth and then we can move on.

I don't know about you but I'm good at handing this and this over to God. But THAT, I'll hold onto. But in order to be free we must make sacrifices. God is more than capable to handle anything we can throw at Him. And what I'm learning too is He is more than capable of turning our ugliest sins into sweet sacrifices as well. That's hard to grasp in my lil ol brain. My deepest darkest sin, (think of yours...) God CAN turn that into such a sweet sacrifices when we truly lay it at His feet. Wow. Isn't He good?

Jehovah Jirah, you amaze me.

Allow me to add this next lil bit. I read this book, yea the WHOLE book, in two days. It's only 112 pages. But let me tell you. The BEST $2.50 I have EVER spent. I love Amazon. It's titled the Red Sea Rules. Subtitled 10 God given strategies for difficult times.

Rule 1 Realize that God means for you to be where you are

I thought. really. Thanks you Father. What a field trip You signed us up for?

There's a quote by Charles Spurgeon "The Lord will make a way for you where no foot has been before. That which, like a sea, threatens to drown you, shall be a highway for your escape"

SO maybe this dark tunnel is like one of those coming out of New York City. a "highway of escape". I tell you if THIS is the escape, I don't want to know what I'm escaping from. God's word promises us over and over again that He will make a escape for His weary, but waiting, children. Our God is a great God. A patient Father. There is no sea deeper than the ocean of His love for us. No army stronger than His hosts of angels. No force greater than His throne of grace. No enemy can overcome His direct and indirect work in our lives.

I like how the author put it..."God will always make a way for His tired, YET TRUSTING, children, even if He must split the sea to do it."

Thank you Father. I read in a very old journal of mine the other day that "Worry is putting question marks, where God has put periods." I don't know who said it. But once again, "I did not listen to Him" the first time. I so need to learn to covert my worries into prayers and my fears into faith. I think Mrs. Beverly Lowry said that in class one day. I'm almost positive. So I guess my Father, placed me here for some reason, or allowed me to be here. I may not know why for now, but I know that when I'm ready for that missing piece of the puzzle of this part of my life, He will show it to me.

Sittin in the dark and talking to God
Candy

Mostly Pictures..See Rocks turn at the ER!!!

Look at the boyz...they are best buds













LeAnn found a new chair in the house.


















I tried to show the girls what Candy Corn is good for....showing the red neck teeth..."What a tooth" (or two...)











Scooter likes to help his mommy study for accounting...















Sometimes he gets a little tired but he stays by my side for support
















Moms big boy...and yes I picked him up while her was asleep and he STAYED asleep...that's the blood hound in him











He's gettin TOO big for the automan...















See sometimes his botty and feet hang off

















Mom I was here FIRST





















Fine stay you can be a pillow







Scooter left and so with the pillow gone...head is now hanging off



















My new pumkin carving idea!

















I could be Martha Stewart...minus the jail time...well we hope anyway ; /


















Rock helping Terra pack her school lunch...see how big



















Breana comes over to take care of the girls while I take a hospital trip....LeAnn doin nails
















Terra doin nails




















Breana (the worlds BEST babysitte, adopted daughter and friend) with LeAnn

















Breana with Terra


















All three of my daughters



















LeAnn working hard












LeAnn lost a tooth at school and got nothing other than a PICK box from the nurse to put it in























Rock and another snap at his odd sleeping positions










He was upside down with lips hanging open...too funny















You thought I was kidding but last Saturday I went to the hospital, LeAnn was there the week before and THIS WEEK Rockford heads to the animal ER...he broke a nail and chipped the bone in his right front leg...ran into the wall and his nail caught the air vent on the floor...NASTY








So look at his new ornament. We told him he's ready for trick-or-treating. Doesn't he look happy about that!




















So pitful








Awe poor baby














So Scooter gets the tennis ball ALL to himself..













He couldn't believe it
















Scooter tryin to check things out













He was actually scared of Rock and his new DO


















Scooter was upset he couldn't play. What's with him?










The sad part....the dog as been AN ANGEL since he got home with this tube on his head...maybe we need to make it a permanent outfit....















I thought ya'll would enjoy some pictures and less reading this time...I can't write that much for a while anyway. I am still on some heavy drugs...but did get out of the house today. Trip to the grocery store...I have never been so excited!!!!

Dacia..maybe this will make you smile.

But guess what...Terra has had a 101.2 temp for four hours....I know...NEXT for the sick train. I am going to be broke when all these hospital bills come in.

Wish TN would have beaten GA. But I'll survive. Now going to watch my Gators KILL LS WHO. YEs I except Tebows promise from last week. HE WILL MAKE A CHANGE AND THINGS WILL BETTER FROM HERE ON OUT!!!! You go my boy. Got Tebow?

Later Gators!!!

Candy