This is the color I've seen alot of lately...in scrubs that is.
I'm ok. Thanks for all your concern. No I haven't quit the Bible study already. No I did not get committed or anything. I just got really really sick. I have only been able to sit up for a max of about an hour today. So I know I promised more pictures and stuff this time round, but your going to have to give me a little bit more time here.
I don't know what happened. I just know that I got up Saturday morning, got dressed for the day as we had a birthday party in Roanoke and some arruns to run. No sooner than I put my clothes on something hit me. Not literally. I felt hot, sick to my stomach, panic attacks coming every half hour or so and extremely dizzy. I got rid of my ensure and applesauce real quick. I felt like I was on the tea cup ride at Disney and it was spinning VERY fast. I got back in my pjs. Good thing cause the next trip to the bathroom I apparently was due for some tile inspection. I hit the floor after passing out. Woke to my perfect little dog Scooter barking while standing over me. OUCH, that bark cut through the sudden pain I had in my head. Finally got Michael. Then apparently I passed out again when he went to call the ambulance. Cause I didn't remember agreeing to take a $600 dollar ride. I figured out later why these rides are so expensive and I'm here to tell you I will never go to the ER without paying for this ride first. More on that later. My $600 dollar ride was brand new and huge. I didn't see it but Michael said it was longer than a normal ambulance and brand new. Whatever. It still bounced me about like I was in a bumper car.
Because I must make this short, cause again I'm still on some VERY heavy drugs and though I feel like the tea cup ride is slowing down...it hasn't stopped yet. Anyway, after almost TEN HOURS in the trauma unit, we had 2 EKG's done, one CT scan of my brain, TEN tubes of blood taken and tested. I guess they take a guess of how many hours your going to be there and then your charge in the here and now that can't be paid by money, you pay in blood. By the way I had two great nurses. FINALLY Lynchburg General has some deceit nurses in the ER. PRAISE THE LORD. Marietta I think was her name and then Sue or Susan. My first was foreign. She was funny with her accent. So motherly. I never got a doctor...which was fine by me cause Dr. Wilgus was one the board and AIN'T NO WAY. He did Michael's inhumane proceeder earlier this summer. I got Lorietta Booney, a physicians assistant, poor thing after every option was exhausted...she said "you have me stumped". With no IV, ANOTHER PRAISE. I HATE IV'S. I have rolling veins so me and some student RN trying to chase a vein, ain't a good combination. I lose my religion. She gave me three pain meds, meclizine for the dizziness and something for the anxiety...thank goodness for the mound of fat on my back side she could stick it in. My pain was still unbearable, NO light, NO movement, room spinning, it NEVER stopped I tell you.
Let me throw in here...if your going to give a person a meds that already has panic and anxiet...don't give them something that makes them feel like a bunch of spiders are crawling all over them. It's like "she's not crazy enough lets see how far we can take her before we have to commit her."
Anyway Dr. Booney said she had me a room upstairs and was going to keep me for observation and more test. I begged her to let me go home. Mind you also, my blood pressure was SKY HIGH. 140 something over 90 something was the one I remember. I was about to agree to stay then I see a bunch of cops walk by my room. I freaked out. Hospital is on lock down. WHAT!!! Panic set in again. Forget this, I'm going home. She agreed to let me go with conditions I think that last thing she wanetd was me freakin out on her about the cops. She made me promise to come back if it worsened or didn't get better. O she did decide I had vertigo but she was convinced there was more to the story.
Went home, stayed in bed, eyes covered, laying flat, no movement, nothing but meds every 4 hours. Room still spinning, panic attacks had calmed down. If you've never had one...it's awful. The doctors and nurses told Michael that a panic attack feels alot like a heart attack. So if I ever have a heart attack I'll think it's a panic attack but I also will be able to handle it.
Monday late afternoon, I had had enough. So I told Michael, we had to go back to the ER. But I told him he could drive me. BIG MISTAKE. We get to the ER and it is full of people. LOUD PEOPLE. I think these people failed to pay attention to where they drove to. This is not BW's to watch Monday Night Football, nor is it the church fellowship hall for "fellowship" to take place. I could hear every conversation in the whole waiting area. Remember VERY sensitive to sound. The loudest was this pastor trying to talk to this family about death. If they aren't getting the message with your inside voice, talking louder is not going to help. I must admit....I got a little rude. It's the Green in me what can I say. I turned around to one lady who was talking so loud behind me and I said "I'm sorry could you talk a little louder I don't think the people outside are catching every word." She cleaned her teeth at me and round her eyes. But she moved!!!! What ever works right? The the rest of the time I mumbled stuff to Michael or into my blanket. I had to sit in this cardboard of a wheel chair with this black blanket (Florence it's the one you mad me for Cheer Xtreme, it is well used and soft) covering my eyes AND ears thanks to the inconsiderate people all around me, for a little more than an hour. It was WONDERFUL.
So please LETS try to set the example. If you walk into an ER waiting room, how bout treat it like a library. Be considerate. You don't know what some of those people are there for. Unless your sure all of them are deaf then have at it. But on the odd chance their not, how bout WHISPER and be some what attentive to the place you are in. Including pastors. Come on. If you feel yelling is all you can do to get people's attention...your probably talking too loud for them to hear the Lord's whisper that SHOULD be coming from your words in the first place. The object is not to hear YOU but to hear God's voice through you. You might get farther if you would just sit back and be quite.
So now you know yet another sin of mine. NO patience. And PLEASE do not pray for patience for me. I learned a long time ago to not pray for them so.
Anyway, I finally get in the back and they lay me on this PIECE OF WOOD. Seriously. In the trauma unit I had somewhat of a soft bed but not here. So when I tell you the $600 ride is worth it...this is what I'm talking about. We also had no glass sliding door to close as we did in the trauma unit. Glass doors dumb the sound. People coming in and out flipping on a light you have off um...FOR A REASON. I don't mean nurses I mean people to dump the trash and stuff. These nurses were not as patient. "Mam I need you to uncover your face to hear your answer". Well my husband over there just told you minute by minute everything that has happened since Saturday and your standing there with my chart which I'm sure has the info from the doctor on Saturday's events. I told you nothing has changed so what exactly are you not in the know about?" See the comedian...Jeff Foxworthy and "Here's YOUR sign jokes" Perfect at moments like this. I will give you my name, date of birthday and allergies EVERY time you walk in the door cause it's a security thing I get that. But asking me info you have in your hand AND just got from my husband...doesn't say "grant me patience".
Well Dr. Agard was my doctor Monday night. She was cut to chase, had a sense of humor I liked her. But she shoved an IV in me within 5 minutes of seeing me. Not good. I freak out when you say IV. Please bear in mind, I was in the hospital from 12 weeks of being pregnant, till I gave birth and had an IV in my hand, wrist or arm the WHOLE time. I can count 21 spaces that the scars are still there. They have to change those things every few days so. Bear with me on hating the things so much. Add to that you have rolling veins. Not good.
A side note...do you guys know what a blood pressure cuff does to your arm when your dehydrated. It leaves these marks on your arm like the blood vessels under arm are busted. I look like a blue, purple and green pushing pin with sticky stuff from the 23 EKG pads they stuck everywhere, marks on both arms from the blood pressure cuff and five large spots where needles on have gone in for IV or blood. O lets not forget the meds that went in my hip...I look like I was shot with a BB Gun on that side.
Well I was going to cope with the IV I wanted to get better. SO in the IV went. I was like a baby I said "I'm sorry your going to have to put the numbing cream on there before you stick me." I didn't even know they had that stuff till I had kids. HOW RUDE. Share with the rest of us. So she complied and did it. However rather than 15 minutes to let it work, the nurse let it sit for almost 40 minutes. Gee thanks for NOTHING. She got it in, it was fine. Then she totally sent me over the edge. She pulled out three meds. She said "this one is for pain, in it went through the iv. This one is Velum. I thought wow, they really want to knock me out here. Then this one is for the migraine and dizziness. All three bam bam bam. It took about 5 seconds and I started freakin out. I was hot, I couldn't breathe, my heart was racing, I was panicking. She took my blood pressure, it was actually normal. I could not relax, I was officially in freak out mode. I told her take it all out, I wanted to go home, I would not come back. I would just sleep it off. I was kicking, crying. IT was not good. Poor Michael grabed my hand several times when I tried to pull the IV out. What the heck. I'll take that medicine that makes spiders crawl all over me before I take that.
Good heavens. I understand wanting to make the pain stop but how about ease into stuff your putting directly into someones blood stream. She said she wanted to knock me out and get ride of pain...she got rid of pain for a moment, I was no where near knocked out. I was wide awake and very aggravated and something weird...my sense of smell has been all messed up since. I mean immediately I started smelling my perfume. Burberry Brit. I wear that all the time since one of my favorite people introduced it to me last Thanksgiving. Thank you Ethel! I have not actually smelled it though in a while. You know how you get so use to smells that somehow you become numb to them. Well all of a sudden I smelt it. I tell you, I had none on. I hadn't showered since Saturday morning. Let me jump ahead for a second and say...that is ALL I have smelt since. When Michael cooks, it smells like brit just srayed....stronger. Any other time it's mild and ok. I can't complain there are alot worse things I could be smelling but isn't that funny?
I was done then. Checked out already. Dr. Agard came in and said if you can open your eyes, drink something for me and walk to the bathroom I will let you go. I thought, fine, it's a deal. I'm goin to do those things if it kills me. I down ginger al like it was a shot of alcohol. I have fallen in love with Ginger AL. I don't know what it is. I use to want coke or Gatorade (orange) when I'm sick. But now it's ginger al. I ALSO want an ice machine like the hospitals. Those little balls of ice LOVE THEM!!! I forced my eyes opened and made myself sit up. First time I had sat up since Saturday morning. I walked across the hall to the bathroom. Looked in the mirror and thought "man I look terrible." Hadn't looked in a mirror since Saturday morning either. Scary. Walked back and said ok, I'm ready to go home.
Now I have a question, velum...shouldn't I have been out on the wooden bed? I was WIDE awake. Never did make me sleepy. Impressive.
I will give Dr. Agard this...my headache did ease up. How could it not...I mean that much drugs it's a miracle any ilmenite would stick around. I got out of there so fast it was great.
Till we left the room and noticed again, cops everywhere. We are on lock down again. Lil ol Lynchburg. We have nothing to do around here, so we just shoot each other up all of a sudden. It's like I'm in Jacksonville again.
Here's another tip for the medical people....if someone is shot in the leg and is just bleeding like there's no tomorrow...can you please NOT put him in the hall way. I mean, I almost passed out seeing all that mess. Not to mention what happened to the Hipa Laws? I mean I was treated in the hall way last year and when I got the bill, I called the hospital and said I wasn't paying cause my Hipa Laws were violated as I NEVER got a room. They dismissed that bill so quick, no questions, no "investigation" done. What bill Mrs. Justice? I hope this man and his wife knows about that. I mean the nurses treating him right there in the hall way. Working in the medical office for years, I know enough to be dangerous.
So the police looks at us....are you leaving? We said "we'd like to." Get this....you can walk OUT in the parking lot, you just can't walk IN." So what your saying is...it's ok if you walk out and might get shot at or something but once your out, you can't come in. Could we have an escort to our van? NO. Well thank you for your protection officer...hope to not see you any time soon. Like I might have a gun wound in a few minutes or something.
Crazy People. Where has logic gone? Common Sense maybe? Or maybe I was so sick...I was the one that was out of either of these. I don't know when I'm done with the drugs I'll revisit things and see if I have a different opinion. Maybe my drugs are asking too much of people. Things that make you go um.
WOW it's been a long time since I've heard that.
My headache did start to come back a few hours later. But it's pain is under control. Get this they have a migraine med that you spray up your nose to relieve the headache. SOMEONE is brilliant out there. What a concept. My dizzy spills come and go. I am working up to sitting up for longer periods of time. I was told it may take a few days to get back to normal. I definitely can't drive right now.
So what am I doin about school. I have great professors. One class I just finished a test. Cal test...got an A. I know, Candy Green Justice got an A in math!!! Go figure. I have a test in one accounting class Thursday but I'm being given till next Wednesday to take it. Thank you Jesus. Fall break is this coming Monday and Tuesday so....we are doin good. I have been given a grace period through Fall break. Isn't God good. My professors too!!!
So I'm ok. We are not sure about my brain waves yet. (The depression) But the other part...the most recent...It's Vertigo like I said. I am taking the drugs and getting the rest. I've been told that's all I can do. O and drink ALOT more water.
Steve you said you could get me a case of Ensure for like $20. I told you Vanilla, can you get me a Strawberry too. Ensure, flavored water and apple sauce are all that's on my menu right now. Not cause I can't eat anything else, just cause I have no appetite and things aren't going down easily. It's being forced and ensure, I can gulp down easily.
Get this the nurse asked me Monday if I wanted some fruit jello. WHAT! That is the sickest thing out there. Who puts fruit in jello. I gotten to where I can't handle jello anyway. That doesn't slide down easily for me. Put fruit in and it's like someone ate some fruit and some jello, had it come back up, they decided to put it in the fridge over night and walla...THAT'S JUST SICK.
Ok, so when I can see straight enough to read, I will do another bible study review. I'm glad so many enjoyed it.
This is my life. God sure thinks I'm pretty strong to handle off this. I am enjoying the rest and that high feelin you get after you take drugs. Your layin there and your mind is just chillin then you slip off to sleep. That's great stuff. No wonder people do drugs. I couldn't do it outside of doctors orders. I mean in doctors orders I ended up goin crazy, can you imagine if I decided how much and what combination to take. Scary.
Till the drugs are all gone,
Candace Justice, 2-12-77, morphine
I've said that so much seems to all be apart of my name now. Name, DOB and allergies
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