Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Long time no see

So ok, it's been a while. So sorry. Some of you are very diligent at making sure I don't go too long without a post. I really am appreciative of the concern you all have for our family during these difficult months here. A few weeks ago I thought I had broke the cycle and things were going to be better from here on out but then I had those two Friday's back to back with ambulance rides to the trauma center. Last Friday I managed to stay home, though too sick to have a Japanese food and movie night with the girls, but never had to go to the ER. I'm hoping this Friday will be another pass on these field trips.

I am having some good days and for these I am thankful. I still have issues with all these drugs and of course with every slip Dr. Judd changes the chemistry of the meds again and I have to go through all the adjusting. I had to have a talk with Dr. Judd after my last ER visit. I really just went to my regular physician and upon being unable to get my blood pressure and unable to do an EKG...add to this my heart rate was 144...the doctor called the ambulance to come get me. He was sure I was about to have a heart attack. The question that bothered me was they kept asking if I took street drugs. I gave this look like, your kidding right. They weren't. This ER visit was very entertaining...When I was first wheeled into the hall way there was this lady sittin on a bed that had a knife sticking out of her legs. That was freaky. Then I was in my little hole in the wall and still trying to handle the pain. The only meds the nurses are clear to give you in the ER without a doctors order is morphine...well I'm allergic to morphine. So guess what, I have to suffer till the doctor gets around to me. But as I lay in pain being as patient as possible...humming to myself and rocking back and forth.....this loud lady gets brought in to the room next to me. Actually our room connected so I could hear everything. The girls was from Charlotte, NC. Don't know why she was here, but she claimed over and over that she only had two glasses of red wine. It was only 3pm in the afternoon??? She apparently flipped her car in Bonsboro. If she said "I'm sorry" one more time I was going to pay a visit. She had a young nice looking cop at her side and apparently handcuffed to the bed. She refused to give blood.
She claimed to have no one to call but she did have an attorney she wanted to call before having any test of anything done. See that's backwards to me. I have plenty of people to call...no attorney though. She was still failing the breath test even after being there for almost 2 hours. She must have had WAY more than two glasses of wine. Anyway she kept Michael and I entertained.

The part I'm not liking about all this mental health stuff is every time I now go in and am sick...and in pain...if they can't find anything in my blood, urine, Ct scans, sonograms, xrays or whatever else they do...they tell me it's in my head. I don't think so. What do they think I enjoy these $600 rides across town every week? Seriously. My bed is much more comfortable. Not to mention I have two little girls that will brush my hair for hours on end. When they get tired, a little thing called...payment will keep them going. Anyway.

But that was the latest visit. The girls got their report cards the other days. I looked for the days missed. LeAnn missed 17 days this past nine weeks. Terra missed 11 days this past nine weeks. Mrs. Brown has been great though. I get their work done at home so...they do not get behind. I thought we would be getting better. We did the flu and pneumonia shots. Guess that didn't work. I feel so bad for these girls. I never had to worry about breathing when I was little. I could run, ride my bike do whatever I wanted and was never out of breath. We've been on preventatives since the Thanksgiving being spent in the hospital, and yet its not working. I don't know what else to do for them.

We had to get a new neb machine the other day. They have new ones out now that are shaped like animals. The girls picked this one that is a gator head!!! They picked it out all by themselves. How bought that! It's cute. They could have had a penguin, dog, bear but no they got the gator! It's cute. We also got a battery operated one. It is tiny. It can fit in my purse. This is great for us. We were in Roanoke at Build a Bear the Saturday after Christmas. The girls were doing fine and in a matter of minutes LeAnn could not breath. We used the converter in the van to plug into. But the converter burnt out. So we pulled over and I had to give one in the Target bathroom. Not the best places to be doing breathing treatments. But this battery operated will work when we're traveling or just out and about and can't find a outlet. It's just as fast as the wall unit too. We were excited about it!

Two more things that have been a blessing. My sister in Law had her baby girls Ilana Jordan Justice. I held her Sunday for 3 hours straight. I so wish I could have another baby. She is precious.

Second, my cousin Terra, whom Terra is named after, had her baby boy Tucker. He is still at the hospital. They live in Texas. She came out not breathing and purple. The doctors think her due date was off. So rather than him coming 4 weeks early, he was 9 weeks early. He has jaundice. He did have the tub come out from his throat and seems to be holding his own now. Terra and Stuart got to hold him for the first time a few days ago. He is expected to be in the NICU for another week and a half. Please pray that he will continue to improve and come home soon.

Well I don't know what else to say really. I know that many of you have been calling and I never answer the phone. I hate the phone. I really do. I'm sorry. I appreciate all the calls, cards, emails, dinner, prayers, visits and help. This has all been going on since September and you all have not missed a beat. I will try to update more. With us not getting to church due to my illness and then the girls going up and down with their health, I know it's hard for everyone to know how we are doing. I miss you all so much.

Many have been asking if I could give a specific prayer to pray. Like I said I am having some good days. Which I'm enjoying. If you all could just pray for motivation. Sometimes if I could just get past the lack of will, I might actually have more better days. Mornings are my toughest times. Generally speaking though I am up most days between 3-9pm. Not much but this is better than not getting up at all. So progress is being made.

Well I guess that's about it for me. Thanks again to everyone.

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