Ya'll do make me feel loved. When I don't write, some of you do NOT let me forget that I haven't written in a while. Sorry...just trying to breathe actually right now. That's about all I can handle. But I will take a few moments to say hey and try to be...up beat and no I'll just be....
Hows Michael's grandfather? Good question. Um they were going to just try and make him comfortable and let him go home which is where he wants to be and wants to "go" when God decides to make that happen. Well he is STILL in the hospital. They can not get his O2 level where they want it. I think too, he has good days with the pain meds and then the next day they have to up it so they are unsure what to send him home with to keep him comfortable. I can only imagine how drained Jack (Michael's dad and his sisters are.) They have their parents in the number one spot. I say that, not cause it's not right but because well, not everyone has that. But anyway, no matter what good or bad, sick or health...Michael's grandparents are worked around. THAT much I did gather very quickly. Like I said, my family is SO different. VERY laid back. My granny was a hoot, up till the end. But even then, somethings that were sad were, still kinda funny. Like when we went to clean out her room after she was called home by her Heavenly Father...granny had chocolate hidden EVERYWHERE. No lie. It was kinda funny. She'd have some stuffed in socks, between the sheets, in books....it gave me a smile among the difficult. Anyway that doesn't really make my point. Actually. Um, my grandparents even from their generation were very laid back, knew how to cut lose, laugh and have a good time. Nothing was "too worldly". Ya know what I mean. My granny sat at a many cheerleading competitions where I...well was cutting lose with some foot and booty fellowship....and loved every minute of watching me. Michael's grandparents and some others, would probably never be caught dead in at a cheerleading competition. After all, loud music and dancin...well that's just of Satan you know. LOL......It's actually called a sport, exercise, talent and a GREAT way for a free ride to college. So knock it all you want but I enjoyed every minute and it paid well in the end. Anyway.
See why I can't blog often my "check ins" and updates end up being BOOKS. But that's just me.
Next question flooding my email.
Where are the pictures of the girls Surprise Party? Well we FINALLY got them on the computer BUT having difficulty putting them in a format that I can incorporate them into the blog. I can't even seem to go through them all to find the one I want to send to the girls that were at the stinkin party. So you and me both are holding our breath on that one. JENN, I NEED YOU TO COME HELP ME!!!!!
Hows the dog? Dumb as ever. I actually think he loses brain cells while he sleeps at night. NO LIE. This dog has been with us...well too long. No, seriously, well that is serious he's wearing his welcome out. Or well, already has. But he is his FATHER'S son so I must dish grace out as if I'm God. Anyway, you would think he knows, where the walls are first off right? NO, he runs right into them as if they moved or something. He should also know how to jump onto the furniture...even though he's only allowed when he is given the invitation...well he goes to jump and it's like he jumps IN PLACE. Rather than going forward so he actually lands ON the couch, he jumps in place and then looks at you like...why didn't you move the couch forward to me so I would have landed on it? Crazy People. What dog can't jump on furniture? He just recently discovered he has a tail. And he does not know why it is there or why it moves when it does. He acts like some ghost is following him sometimes. Or there's a spider on his back and he goes crazy to try and get it off. When it wags and he's laying down, he looks at it like " what in the world....Get it off, get it off....." He still sleeps though sliding off what ever he may be on and when he is awaken by his head hitting the floor he looks at you like YOU did something. He stuck his head in the door of the fridge the other day and I said "move I'm closing the door" and he just stood there, like he was taken inventory or something. I literally closed the fridge door and he still stood there, door resting on his neck. I had to pull the stupid dog out of the fridge. Other wise I was gonna have to replace the milk as he would stand there all night. He steals stuff from the girls room all the time. Well he (along with every dog I know) has this thing for dirty underwear. What is this? Anyway, I finally decided to put a pair of the girls underwear on him since he wanted to play with them so much. He looked at me as if to say "seriously, that's where these go" and just goes and sits down as if to say "darn it all, now look what I got myself into." Here's a thought, why not try to get them off like any other dog in the world. HELLO. Our dinning room table is a counter top height and has a low sitting center. It sits maybe 8-10 inches off the floor. He still, even though he's taller than the girls when he stands on his back legs, will run to hide under there when he's in trouble. One of these days he is going to get stuck, or pull the table down the hall way with him. He is terrified of Mexicans. NO IDEA. We have Mexicans that do our yard work and he does not like them. He stares out the window and shakes. He is funny with Scooter. He is 10 times bigger than Scooter and still growing...but Scooter wins EVERY battle. It's hilarious. If Scooter takes a toy from Rockford, Rock will follow Scooter then sit right in front of him, nose touching the toy Scooter just stole and has in his own mouth and will just sit there and whine and cry. Dumb Dog. Your bigger than he is, take it out of his mouth, knock him over...something. Yes Scooter is MUCH more well endowed than you are but try to be somewhat of a man. He loves to play with bugs. But he does not understand why they don't stay when he tells them too. Then it's like he gets upset when they die on him. He had a fly the other night. He actually got his paw down on him. He stood there for a minute then slowly lifted his foot. The fly flew off. Took Rockford a good 20 minutes to get him again. He caught it in his mouth and then gently laid it on the floor and put his paw over it again. He repeated this several times. Then the fly died. He looked at it for the longest time and then looked at us like, what did you do? The batteries are dead. DO something please. We flushed it down the toilet and this is hilarious...we put it in the toilet and Rockford was like a kid that just lost a gold fish...he put his paws on the toilet seat and we flushed it and he rolled his head around following the bug and water till it went all the way down. Then he just stood there. I again had to physically remove him from the bathroom. He has been losing his baby teeth. Like no dog I have ever known. Amy, our loving vet, said that was the pit side of him. He lost 7 in one day. I was like what the heck. He can't possibly have many teeth to chew with at this point. He may need dentures to help chew his food. There are only three things I have found that he IS good at. He's a GREAT car rider. Loves to ride. He goes to school every Friday night. AT school in front of the teacher, he does EVERYTHING perfectly. The teacher is only telling us what to do and we command him to do it and give the treat. So the only difference outside of class would be that the teacher is not there. So Hello...what would be the problem. He has 4 weeks left and I'm sure he will graduate. They actually have a graduation like hat and tassel and all! Seriously. Anyway. The last thing he does well is forward rolls. He does better rolls than the girls. I didn't even have to teach him. Anyone that has had me teach them a forward roll knows that I say to look at your belly button and roll...Rockford looks at his belly button so well and he doesn't even have one! But no brains....good heavens to Betsy.
Rockford has supplied me with alot of laughs. Laughs that I so desperately need lately. If you don't want honesty and seriousness stop reading now. Many know I have been going through alot of test lately. Not just in school. But health wise. I have been on 4 different meds, all at the same time, for anxiety, panic attacks and depression for years now. I thought all was well. I take my meds, yes I take drugs. Things were going well. Till a few months ago, I just started feeling like I did before I got the meds. Not eating some days...like a week or so, then eat everything in sight, then not eat for a while. Sick to my stomach. Nervous about everything. Cry at the drop of a hat. Well we have been doing some test. They've ruled out the ulcer (which I get alot of). They ruled out chemical imbalance. We are going to be doing more test. But in a nut shell....things are just hard right now. Getting up in the morning seems like the hardest thing anyone could ask of me many days. If you've seen me around town, you know that the normal Candy all with makeup, cute outfit and smile is not what your getting. Rather it's like I just rolled out of bed. Which I probably did, just to make it to class and get the girls to school. I don't want to go into too much but I am going to say...if you don't get a smile....please don't give me a sermon. Don't think I'm mad at anyone especially you. I'm not. I'm just making it. Things will get better. My doctors just have to figure somethings out. I just have to do what I'm told and be patient. I like how Chonda puts things...though she dealt with much more of a bigger issue than me...but I can't do any more Bible studies than I'm doing, I am good with sins being confessed, I have prayed. I have done all that. I thought until I read her book that I was the one with the issue. Sometimes it seems SO much easier to just NOT go to church and try to dress yourself up with a smile and a nice outfit than it is to just stay home and be yourself...worn out, tears falling when they want, in your pj self. I've ventured to church though a few times in the past 3 weeks. Go me!
I tell you guys this cause I know that many are really wondering what is wrong with me. I was asked the other day if we changed churches? Which I've been asked alot. Two times I've been asked if Michael and I were having problems? No no no, nothing like that. Michael and I are great! I couldn't ask for a better partner and support than my husband. And I love our church. It's home. But everyone knows that sometimes when you appear not put together...the questions alone (forget the endless advice you may get, even when not asked) is really too difficult to handle. But I love our church. We ain't goin anywhere.
I gotta tell you something funny though. I joke that we have been goin to Bedside Baptist for a few months. Which means we have been watching TRBC. First, Lord bless Jonthan Falwell. He is SO anointed. God is using him in ways that blows me away. And I'm not even a member of TRBC. Which means I'm seeing it from afar. I always get excited to see what else he has up his sleve to help him present the gospel in such a way that anyone would feel comfortable to sit and listen. Even if their not "church" folk. This Sunday I laughed so stinkin hard. It was hard to sing the worship songs as behind Chucky B was the HUGE I mean HUGE pair of men's legs. In blue jeans and a belt, with cowboy boots on it looked like. But I tell you the attention to detail was unbelievable. I knew I was "sick". Maybe a little less "detail" in a certain area would have been a little better. I'm probably the only sick person that would notice. (But watch now all of you will be looking...Lord forgive me.) I know I have issues. But it was great! I loved it. Keep on keepin on Jonathan. He said they were going to finish him which I guess means that the rest of this "MAN'S" body will appear. Hopefully not well cut and without a shirt.
Well anyway, there was alot in here and I'm sorry there is no way to ease into what all is goin on. Just pray that's really the best thing ya'll can do. I am not use to my kids asking "mom, when are my favorite pear of jeans going to be clean." That's like a knife to the heart. If you know me I normally wash the clothes we wore that day and have them put away before I go to bed and well....lets just say I had to buy alot of laundry baskets.
God is faithful and I know that. I just have to trust Him and well...ride the rough waters in the dark of the storm till the coast guard arrives.
Just breathing
Candy
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