LeAnn searched for her two front teeth this Christmas but they never showed. She is TOO STINKIN CUTE with her front teeth missing and makes her adorable word sounds even better!
My pride and joy....it IS center in the peek of the roof but I was sitting off to the side...in it's rotating tree stand, this 9 foot tree is hard to not stare at!
LeAnn and Terra in their Christmas Eve PGS
Like every other family this year, Santa brought us a WII....LeAnn skiing!
Terra dodging the panda bears and shoes while playing soccer. The shoes and pandas are hilarious
The MASTER of the house. Scooter Winston
Rockford Sebastian...he is still a ball of laughs. Has no brain I'm sure.
A little special gift from Bree for Christmas. I love you Bree!!! She picked something my girls DON'T HAVE and something that they would enjoy DOING and not just something else to throw in their room...paint your own music box and plate, bowl and cup set!!!! Best gift of the year!!!
Here are the finished products!
They really got into it!! Left Bree to finish baking the cookies. Which...don't tell her I told you but she burnt these.....LOL Lots of love Bree!!!
Terra painting
LeAnn paintingOk, where have I been? That's a loaded question. I've been here and there and everywhere.
Why has my blog been untouched for almost two months...um, being online has NOT been a top priority. Keeping the lungs flowing with air and the heart full of hope has been all I can handle. And sometimes not even that!
How was Thanksgiving? Iv fluids for LeAnn and I both while she was on one floor of Virginia Baptist and I was on the other. I feel like there was NO Thanksgiving. Still haven't gotten a good turkey dinner.
I don't know what to say and not say. Everyone knows that I was diagnosed with clinical depression a few months back. That was being held between a small circle of people but I think was let slipped just cause things were getting too hard to keep covered. Especially when you so badly need the list of help from whom ever we could get it from. Thank you thank you thank you to the many of have brought us dinner the past few weeks. Words can not express how much it meant and helped.
Well as you wait for medicine to kick in with depression there are ups and downs and further downs and less ups and well...it's never ending roller coaster with too many drops and not near enough or large enough climbs upward.
Let me give you a few lessons I've learned.
Never ever OD on ANY MEDS! Never Never Never. I don't know how people that achieve success with this because it scared the day lights out of me. We will stick with the story that it was a accidental OD. Boy your heart starts racing, I couldn't form words to save my life. I really thought...this is it. This stupid mistake is going to be what kills me. I made sure all was cleared between the Lord and I just in case. The worst part of this is not the scary part of realizing you did WAY too much. It's when you get to the Trauma Unit and the nurse walks in with about 8oz of CHARCOAL!!! NO LIE. CHARCOAL. SICK SICK SICK. There are no words to describe to you what drinking liquid CHARCOAL to help absorb the drugs...........GAG
Second, the VICU at Virginia Baptist is newly remodel and never has more than two people in it. I was there two weekends in a row and 90% of the time I was THE ONLY PERSON in the unit. Gee what would these nurses do if I didn't get myself there? I've left them bored to tears for a few weekends...maybe I should go visit or something.
Being committed is not all that bad. It's scary though. You have people that are there on a court order and are picked up by the police to then go serve their time in jail. These girls...well they were girls in my case...get together just like the jail house stories and will come take whatever THEY WANT off your meal trays and you may have been stupid enough to get committed but your not or I'm NOT stupid enough to keep my lovely hospital food badly enough to fight for it. Heaven forbid. I can stand to miss a few meals anyway.
When you can't think straight...people play hiding games with you. LeAnn was in the hospital for a few days and NO ONE TOLD ME till I was discharged. Cause I would notice one little girl missing. Dianne, Ed, hubby, nurses on VICU...I don't blame you for not telling me and am glad things went down the way they did. Dianne was funny...she showed up twice in one day I think and said...."she was called back into work." I'm pretty sure...she was going to re leave Michael for a little bit.
This is funny. If you can't take a joke...you might want to skip this paragraph.
I was having major upper abdominal pains. Unbearable. No lie. I ended up in another trauma care center. Blood test, a bunch of test and everything was normal. I assured the nurse SOMETHING is NOT normal. SOMETHING is causing this pain. She decided to do a X-ray. Man she came in a few moments later. "Mrs. Justice, no wonder your having pain. You are full to the rim". Basically she was telling me "I was full of crap". No seriously, I was full of it. She showed me on the x-ray. Lordly. I'm the ONLY person in my family that is not regular. My brother eats and then does a drop of the kids at the pool. If you know what I mean. Might be why he weighs half of what I do. Anyway. She gave me a shopping list and sent me on my way. If you ever find you are truly full of it...the depository will NOT work. Didn't for me. I did three. The milk of magnesia will NOT work. I had half the bottle, did nothing. The stool softener will NOT work. No, none of these but if you drink a full bottle of Magnesium citrate....lordy, you will be cleaned as if you never ate or passed anything in your life. I mean..I lost 4.5 pounds and THAT IS NOT A LIE!!!!
I know I'm rattling off like this is all nothing. Please don't preach to me. I know this is all very serious. I'm no where near being through this. Still taking it hour by hour actually. But God is peeking through a little bit. I know He's there. I have had a few good days and I'm learning to treasure them and hope for more. God and I have a long road ahead but together we will make it. I am not taking classes next semester, I of course dropped out this semester in the seventh week. Then I will hopefully be prepared for summer with the girls. Then hope to return to school in the Fall of 2009. That's the best I can do and I'm learning that, that's ok. Taking time to heal and take care of your self, is important enough to stop for.
I almost forgot...if you did not get a Christmas card from us..there is a reason. I used the stamps I had to mail some. I was able to get the ones to the church thanks to good friends that took care of them for me. But over half of the cards sat on the kitchen table waiting for my wonderful hubby to have a chance to go get me some more stamps. Well, that never happened. So Christmas day, I threw them away. Michael said I should have sent them anyway, but I just couldn't bring myself to send Christmas cards after Christmas. Just know that you all were thought of. And I DID take the time to do cards this year just...I'm not at liberty to drive when ever I have somewhere to go so...am having to lean on Michael.
Which I AM married to THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD. He has been mom, dad, provider, taxi, grocery shopper, baby sitter, cook, maid, hair holder for throw uppers, booty wipers for....o no...not that one anymore. Sorry I was on a roll. I love my wonderful husband. He is so patient, and understanding and supportive. My cup runieth over!
Well I cherish your never ending prayers, cards, emails, calls (even though I NEVER answer the phone...I TRULY HATE THE PHONE), but I know who has called, those who have stopped by, taken my girls places, visited the hospital, meals on and on....THANK YOU ALL. Please keep praying.
May God richly bless you all in return.
Trying to Break Free
Candy Justice
